Funeral and Cremation Service of Orange County




Q: What happens if I want to be cremated when I die, but a family member is opposed to this choice? A: It is always best if an agreement can be reached that the family will respect regarding the cremation decision. Discussion with a cremation counselor, funeral director, clergyman, chaplain, or other adviser may help with this decision. If agreement cannot be reached, then before death occurs, the person choosing cremation should prearrange their plans and file them with their chosen cremation provider, in addition to stating these wishes in their will. Q: I’m not sure what should be done with my cremated remains. What are my choices? A: Cremated remains can be buried in a cemetery plot or placed in a mausoleum or columbarium niche. If the cemetery is far from the place of death, the cremation provider can send the remains by registered mail. Some churches have a columbarium or memorial garden where cremated remains can be placed; this is usually limited to church members and their families. Family members can also bury cremated remains on their own property, depending on local ordinances and state statutes. Scattering of cremated remains is an increasingly popular choice. The scattering can be done by the cremation provider, by the family or by clergy, either privately or a s part of a ceremony. Cremated remains can be scattered on uninhabited public land or public waterways, if local laws and regulations permit. It can also be done on private property in most states, with the written permission of the property owner. Careful thought should be given to the matter before choosing scattering in a location which will be frequented by family members; depending on their personal philosophies, they may be either comforted or distressed by knowing that this has been done. Another possibility is to request that cremated remains be returned to the nearest of kin, so that a decision about their disposition can be made later.

	Prepurchase your arrangements and file the contract with your will.
	If cremation is chosen, sign an Authorization for Cremation form and file a copy with your will.
	Inform others of whom your arrangements are with.
	Make a will stating your directive for cremation, or burial.
	Choose and appoint a willing executor to handle your will.
	Make your executor aware of the location of your will and cremation or burial contract.
	Tell your family or other responsible person about your directive(s).
	Inform them that your direction is in your will
	Have a Power of Attorney signed and ready in case it is needed.
	Have a living will signed and ready if needed. Give copies to family members and physician.
	Have a Health Care Power of Attorney signed and ready if needed.
	Include advance directives in your Health Care Power of Attorney, including “Do Not Resuscitate” orders and other medical directives dealing with nutrition, hydration, medications, etc.

In families where there are conflicting views regarding final arrangements, your funeral director introduces the family to two stages of planning. First, materials are provided to the decedent-to-be so he or she can be knowledgeable in discussions with family members. Secondly, if the conflict cannot be resolved and further discussions are considered futile, the person for whom arrangements are being made is advised to proceed with their wishes under the careful guidance of their funeral director. When conflicts continue or arise after death has occurred and there are no documents left by the decedent which meet state requirements, courts are the last resort.

Each state establishes the parties who can authorize a cremation. The area where conflict may arise is among children and other relatives. Clear and firm documentation of a decedent’s whishes for final arrangements is the best way to avoid family conflicts.

The federal Trade Commission (FTC) has enacted a Funeral Practices Trade Regulation Rule (Rule) which requires funeral providers to disclose general itemized price information about services and merchandise provided. The Rule specifically requires a funeral provider to indicate it prices for Direct Cremation Services where the purchaser provides the cremation container; or where the purchaser selects a casket from the funeral provider. You may request this information at any time from a funeral provider and it must be given to you. However, if it is not offered at the time your are engaging the services of a funeral provider, it could be a violation of the Rule.

Laws vary from state to state. You may obtain information pertaining specifically to your state by contacting the Attorney General.